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» A snippet of my book!

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Like the story?
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lakaishia



Posts: 460
Avatars: 30/206
Female



    3rd of Jun '11 @ 1:00 PM Hasnt voted yet!


I\\\'m not sure if it goes here, but oh well.....
Tell me what you guys think!
I\\\'ll be posting mini stories as I go along as well, so keep an eye out :3

A woman clad in black kneeled before a large throne in a dark, death-gripped cathedral. She had a barely visible smile as she patiently listened to her orders from her master. After several minutes, she departed the hellish valley her master made his lair, barely able to contain her excitement at her masters highly specific and spite-ridden commands.
A young looking woman with long, blonde curls sifted through piles of contracts, letters, and notes, grumbling to herself where are those war logs at as a man ran in, panting heavily.
Black Death, our scouts have spotted a large army entering from the Northern forest of Skulls Hell Island. We have no idea who or what they are, but they do seem to be prepared for war and Death Knight believes they possess a threat. Death Knight would like to know your plan of action on the matter. A woman soon walked in smoothly, a guard following her closely.
My scouts have also spotted the army this. Demon spoke of. It would seem we have great detail on the matter, though. The vamp-
The demon quickly spoke up, cutting off the vampire, I wasnt finished with my report, my dear Lakaishia, he replied, smirking at Lakaishia as she silently scowled at him, Death Knight believes the army is set up into battalions, are new to here, and didnt send out any war requests. The scouts noticed that the army seemed to be separated into separate battlements, and there seemed to be five black-hooded figures surrounding a parchment, something we believed to be a map.
Lakaishia waited for him to finish speaking. As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, my scouts detected a different blood scent unlike those on Skulls Hell. After consulting with my Constacian scouts about the scent, I learned that it might possibly be a race of people that call themselves the Demonic Templers. My scouts managed to get a closer look at the parchment in question and can confirm that it is indeed a map of Skulls Hell, with what appeared to be the Witchlands. My informants near the Holy areas have told me that the witches are in fact, not preparing for war, so I believe it is safe to assume the demon scout is correct that they are not following the protocol here.
Black Death listened to the reports, frowning at the mention of Demonic Templers. If it really is the Demonic Templers, then the witches will not survive the attack. For now, we stay neutral. I want you to stay here, Lakaishia. Demon, tell Death Knight to arrive swiftly, I will need to speak with her. Do not tell her any details further than that or it will be your life.
Yes maam! The demon exclaimed, bowing and running out as a tall, young man walked in, his short hair disheveled and a very worried expression on his face.
Lakaishia, please wait in the meeting room until Death Knight arrives, I wish to speak with Black Death alone.
I will not listen to a pathetic human like you! Lakaishia growled fiercely at the man, challenging him.
Lakaishia, listen to Kevin please. I need a private conversation with him anyway. Black Death sighed heavily, leaning against her desk. Lakaishia gave her a sympathetic look and walked out of the room.
I heard about the scout reports as I was getting ready to walk in so I decided to hang back and eavesdrop. So, the Demonic Templers have found us, huh? This should prove to be an interesting experience. Black Death stood up, arms crossed in front of her as Kevin finished speaking.
It will also be a dangerous one. We have never really fought them, but they know our tactics and they know us. Im not so certain even with the demons and Lakaishias vampires on our side that we will be able to succeed. Kevin sat on the desk, solemnly watching Black Death pace the room.
I have an idea then, if I may take the full floor for this meeting. Also, Anastacia has requested an audience with the ruler of Hellsank. Black Death stopping pacing and studied her husband, Kevin, a well-built, warrior in tight leather jeans and a long, open over shirt, showing the muscles underneath.
And why couldnt the king of Hellsank hear her? He is after all, a ruler of Hellsank. Kevin, you are so useless sometimes.
Kevin smiled lovingly at Black Death and shrugged. Im nothing more than a mere human. Besides, I did hear her out and what she wants is not something I can decide for you. It is a delicate matter, but I think hearing her out would definitely be a good idea.
Black Death sighed at her husband, knowing he was going to use the promise he made to her when he had found her about no trying to take her rule.
In a loud, booming voice she said Send in the witch!



Also, I\\\'m looking for a new name for the race instead of Demonic Templers. If you have any suggestions, please post them.
The main people are a race called Mokati Combatante.

meow!!!!bunnies shall rule the world!


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lakaishia



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    3rd of Jun '11 @ 1:28 PM Hasnt voted yet!


For those that want it to make sense immediately:

Races already introduced:
Human: The most people on earth, humans are the only race to truly occupy every continent.
Characters of this race: Kevin

Witch: The Holy sides spellcasters, they are born into an element. Unlike sorcerers, they cant change or choose the element they specialize with. Power temples include Blessing, the most holy power, and are defended by males.
Characters of this race: Anastacia

Demon: Infantry of the Prince of Darkness, the exception being the demons living on Skulls Hell Island, who broke away and joined an alliance with the groundfighters. They contain long, sharp claws or fangs (sometimes both.) Only demons have poison growing in their bodies that they can utilize. They no longer have horns, unlike their brethren in Hell.
Characters of this race: Death Knight, unnamed scout

Eekarish Vampires: Exclusive to Skulls Hell Island, they are one of the weaker races of Skulls Hell Island. They have an alliance with the groundfighters and demons, whom protect them.
Characters of this race: Lakaishia

Constacian Vampires: More vampires on the Evil side, controlled by Eekarish Vampires. They are unique to Constacia, hence their name. They have large, leathery wings like bats and boast a lot of strength, though they are more sluggish than normal vampires.
Characters of this race: None, but Lakaishia is also queen of these.

Mokati Combatante: Cannibalistic fighters, they are fierce and battle-loving. They are usually assumed to be unorganized and stupid, using only brute strength to win, although they are strategic warriors. Their leader, Black Death, helped to fix the damage her grandmother, Black Saint, had caused.
Characters of this race: Black Death

Demonic Templars: Controlled by the Prince of Darkness, they have the strengths of groundfighters and demons, but their weaknesses are unknown. They were ordered to hunt down and capture the groundfighters after Black Death broke off from him.
Characters of this race: The mysterious woman

Name: Death Knight
Race: Demon
Age: 146
Height: 5\'8\"
Weight: 149 pounds
Gender: Female
Hair style/color: Curly, medium/ Black with blond streaks
Eye color: Hazel
Skin color: Dark brown
Weapons: Sharp claws; small dagger, sheath has a skull design on it
Clothing: Orange-striped half-shirt; brown leather indian style jacket; red cargo-style long pants
Description: Death Knight is the queen of Fovea Daemonia. She was born into a poor famil during the time of her friend, Lilly\'s reign. When Lilly and her family was murdered, she left reign to her most trusted friend, Death Knight. During Death Knight\'s reign, the demons were defeated, dropping Death Knight from the ranking of Commanding Queen/King of Skull\'s Hell Island.


Name: Black Death
Race: Groundfighter
Age: 329
Height: 52
Weight: 236 pounds
Hair style/color: Long, tight curls/ blonde
Eye color: Icy blue
Skin color: Lightly tanned
Weapons: Small golden dagger attached to belt
Clothing: Long, purple jeans; black bodice; black belt studded w/ rhinestones
Description: Black Deaths real name is Rosea, although she changed it to match her familys tradition when she defeated her grandmother and became queen of Hellsank at 16. Under her reign, the Mokati Combatante became stronger and defeated the demons, allowing the Mokati Combatante to take the title of Strongest Race and Black Death became Commanding King/Queen of Hellsank. Black Death is currently married to Kevin.


Name: Kevin
Race: Human
Age: 322
Height: 6\'2\"
Weight: 178 pounds
Hair style/color: Medium, spiked/ Blonde
Eye color: Light brown
Skin Color: Light tan
Weapons: Sword whose hilt is a snake\'s body, grooved for easier gripping. The sword itself has a gem-encrusted dragon etched into it, and is coated to be smooth, made for quick and clean cuts. Shield has his family crest on one half and the Mokati Combatante crest on the other half.
Clothing: Because of Skull\'s Hell Island\'s hot weather, he almost never wears a shirt and wears shorts most of the time. He wears a tuxedo when attending meetings.
Description: Met Black Death while he was attending high school in Garidisia, the human territory in Skull\'s Hell. He fell madly in love with her, and when he found out she wasn\'t truly human when he left her, chased after her to Hellsank after graduating. He then married her and after three divorces and remarriages, he is now accepted by Hellsank as a proper king. Though only human, he is highly respected by his subjects. He is still alive due to a spell cast on him and Black Death, which took half of Black Death\'s ability to live and gave it to Kevin, who now has the chance to live to approximately 5,000.


Name: Lakaishia
Race: Eekarish Vampire
Age: 1918
Height: 5\'8\"
Weight: 129 pounds
Hair style/color: Long, sleek/Black w/ light brown streaks
Eye color: Green
Skin color: Milk chocolate
Weapons: Fangs; retractable sharp claws
Clothing: Venetian style dress; large bat pendant
Description: Lakaishia fought and killed the Eekarish queen at the age of 1649, taking over the Eekarish throne. Her mother, the Constacian queen, later seceded the throne to Lakaishia. When she defeated the old Eekarish queen, Black Death accepted her alliance request. Lakaishia is responsible for keeping the Cassinish vampires at bay.



That\'s all the character sheets for now, will add more as I add more stories.
Any questions/comments/concerns/opinions?
I LOVE criticism!




meow!!!!bunnies shall rule the world!


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lakaishia



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    3rd of Jun '11 @ 4:20 PM Hasnt voted yet!


Anyone gonna read it or comment on it? T.T

meow!!!!bunnies shall rule the world!


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Speedie



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    3rd of Jun '11 @ 4:40 PM Voted for I don't know


I read it, but it was hard to keep my attention to the story line as this isn\'t my type of book. :/ Sorry I can\'t help at all...



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lakaishia



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    3rd of Jun '11 @ 4:49 PM Hasnt voted yet!


Posted by Speedie


I read it, but it was hard to keep my attention to the story line as this isn\\\'t my type of book. :/ Sorry I can\\\'t help at all...

Yeah, it\'s a war fantasy, but it\'s only the beginning so it\'s starting out slow, I\'ll have to out up another one then I suppose.

meow!!!!bunnies shall rule the world!


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Quino_



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    5th of Jun '11 @ 2:04 PM Voted for Yes


that\'s pretty good, you like writing stories like this hea? I saw your other topic ^^



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lakaishia



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    6th of Jun '11 @ 5:48 AM Hasnt voted yet!


Posted by Quino_


that\\\'s pretty good, you like writing stories like this hea? I saw your other topic ^^

Actually, both stories I posted are part of the book I want to write smile_grin.gif

meow!!!!bunnies shall rule the world!


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Quino_



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    6th of Jun '11 @ 1:03 PM Voted for Yes


what\'ll be the title? a good title is half of the work ^^



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lakaishia



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    6th of Jun '11 @ 1:12 PM Hasnt voted yet!


Posted by Quino_


what\\\'ll be the title? a good title is half of the work ^^

hhhmm.... I don\'t actually know....
Maybe the Airshakta Chronicles? I want more than one book, since the main characters get into a LOT of wars xD

meow!!!!bunnies shall rule the world!


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