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» Is it ok for parents to leave marks or bruises on their children?

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what do you think?
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no  100% 8 votes


Ashika



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    5th of Aug '15 @ 5:36 PM Hasnt voted yet!


I say it depends. It would matter what kind of marks were left on the child. What do you think?

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Klaora



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    5th of Aug '15 @ 6:40 PM Voted for no


Absolutely not. You would go to court and/or jail if you left marks/bruises on another adult. I don't see why it's at all acceptable to do it to a child that cannot defend themselves. In most places, leaving ANY mark on a child is considered abuse and for good reason.

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Ashika



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    6th of Aug '15 @ 3:29 PM Hasnt voted yet!


@Klaora

I totally get what you are saying, but what is your opinion on spanking? I always thought using a switch was horrible, even if it was what they did to punish bad behavior back then. A slap in the face on a child is horrible.

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Klaora



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    7th of Aug '15 @ 11:54 AM Voted for no


@Aishika : That's a really good question. smile_happy.gif
First and foremost a bit of a disclaimer: I do not have children nor do I ever want children so my opinion may be taken with a grain of salt.

Personally? I hate it. I was spanked as a child and so many times I have no idea what I was being spanked for; I was a kid and didn't understand anything except that I was in trouble. I think a tough talk/time-out would have been more productive in those times in particular.
It's also very hypocritical. "Don't hit people" parents say before giving their kid a swift slap on the rear.

While my parents stopped spanking me when I was about five or six, it was followed up by two decades of mental and emotional abuse by my father in particular. I don't think that one form of abuse should be traded for another which is often the case. The problem isn't so much "spanking" in particular as it is abuse.
And so many parents don't see it as abuse when they do these things, they're just "raising their kids." It's certainly not my place to tell someone how they should do so, but there are already way too many adults still recovering from their childhood from well-meaning parents that had no idea they were doing something wrong.

I like to think that every generation "softens the blow" so to speak when it comes to this sort of thing. I will never have children for a variety of reasons, but I know that I'm a product of a broken household myself and though I try to fight it all I can it's pretty much encoded into who I am. If I had a child I would still be abusive to them, but I wouldn't be AS abusive as my father was to me.

But that's just my two cents. What do you think? smile_happy.gif
-------------------------
And one last little thing: I certainly don't mind parents who accidentally hurt their child when acting in the heat of the moment when the child is in immediate danger such as accidentally pulling an arm too hard when the child is about to cross a dangerous road. O.O That is completely different~

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RiverStarr



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    10th of Aug '15 @ 9:31 AM Voted for no


If you are leaving bruises on a child, you are being abusive. That is how I have always felt. Your board title has a couple different meanings so I hope I'm addressing them properly. You're title sounds like you are asking if it's ok for a parent to hit a child. And, I say no. Under no circumstance should it be ok. Now, I saw someone point out that if you are saving a child's life and leave marks, then fine. I have my own stories about things like that. For example, when I was 2 or 3, I fell in our pool and my grandmother pulled me out...by my hair. It was the only thing she could do when reacting. I know it's not entirely the same thing but the circumstances are the same.

And spanking...I don't have kids nor do I want any but, I think I am ok with spanking. I think it should be a last resort but all in all, you shouldn't be leaving bruises when spanking.


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Gaelent



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    10th of Aug '15 @ 10:14 AM Voted for no


As someone who is firmly childless by choice, I can't say much from experience, though I have babysat a lot of the little buggers. I would never NEVER strike or otherwise cause harm to a child for any reason. There are plenty of other ways to discipline a child or deal with unwanted behavior that does not involve assaulting them when they cannot defend themselves. I was spanked as a child, yes, but I do not agree with it, and I do not believe it made me any better having experienced it.

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tape4tape34



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    12th of Aug '15 @ 3:19 PM Voted for no


I do not think it would be OK to hit a child for a punishment. Spanking... Well that's hard to say. I think it depends on the situation, how hard you spank, and if you spank with something. I didn't really get spanked as a child, but I have gotten hit with a wooden spoon. If you are trying to save a child's life, and you leave a mark, well then it's not really intentional. That's just my thought. :3



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    10th of Jul '16 @ 3:55 PM Voted for no


@#%&!!! NOOOO! If one strikes out in that fashion they're angry, and anger is often uncontrollable.



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Lokki



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YayChocolate



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    10th of Jul '16 @ 4:07 PM Voted for no


People say that spanking/slapping/etc. teaches respect towards the parents. I disagree. My parents have rarely used physical force on me, but the few times they have, respect wasn't gained, it was lost. I didn't leave the argument thinking they just wanted the best for me and that I should listen to them. Rather, I concluded that they just had no other basis for their argument and so resorted to violence.

It also made me feel disrespected. Sure, parents are an authority, but I think that children should never feel like they are lesser human beings just because they are younger. Yet, that's what this kind of action reinforces. It would be unthinkable for a child to hit their parent. But for some reason, if you're older, that's somehow acceptable? That logic doesn't even make sense. Children are known for having outbursts of emotions since they're still learning to control them, and they usually have the restraint that prevents them from hitting their parents. And yet the fully developed adults can't make their point without slapping their child?

The only time I feel this could be justified would be in a situation where the child possesses a threat to others, for example, an older sibling going ballistic, hurting other children. There are cases where you can't calm down a violent child just by using your words. Even then, the force used should only be the amount necessary to restrain the bully.

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    10th of Jul '16 @ 10:50 PM Voted for no


@YayChocolate. I agree! Respect needs to be earned, commanded, not demanded!



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Lokki



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Angels



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    22nd of Jul '16 @ 10:02 AM Voted for no


No. Simply, no. If you were out with a friend, you wouldn't spank them for disorespecting you. You would just speak to them and address the issue. That's where I think a lot of parents are going wrong. Hitting your kids will do nothing. If anything, they will lose respect for you, because if you parent correctly, you can get your message through, more clearly and efficiently than hitting your child with your words. It just leaves a better example and message, because these kids are watching your every move. You are setting the example for them, and what they think is the norm.



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    22nd of Jul '16 @ 1:12 PM Voted for no


@Angels I agree completely!

"The first person to strike a blow is the one who has run out of ideas."

I forget wo said it, but I heard that somewhere. smile_yes.gif



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Lokki



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FrozenCircus



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    4th of Dec '16 @ 12:19 AM Voted for no


The only reason a parent or loved one should ever hurt a child is if they are in a far more serious situation, like the child needs CPR. (which can and does crack ribs, but that's a small price considering the alternative.) Basically, I don't believe you should no do something that may hurt anyone but children especially UNLESS that action can literally save their life, like the aforementioned CPR.
I don't even believe in spanking.

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